Stepping Out

Yesterday (Tuesday evening) I stepped way out of my comfort zone and met a guy from a dating site.  My original thoughts on dating sites were first, it's not for me but if other people want to do it, go for it.  I searched for an answer on if joining a dating site is in God's will and thought the answer was not for my life.  As I'm writing this, I still think the answer is no with a but...

I've had a least 5 friends who have found their husbands and/or potential mate through a online dating site.  I have a handful of family and friends who enjoy online dating and have met great friends through their casual dating.

So I decided to take a chance on a site recommended by my cousin.  By the end of the first day, I had guys messaging and/or wanted to meet me.  Not really knowing what to expect, I got messages that was like Whoa! and "Really" in my book.  I decided to be a little more open minded as I'm quick to put the hand up.

The second message from this guy and he wanted to meet up.  So I said sure.  Based on his picture, he wasn't my type but I've found that this is one thing that I don't like about online dating.  You are basically judging people by their picture.  Really only 1 guy out of the 6 that messaged me caught my eye.  None of them are right for me.  I'm no grammar expert by I do believe you should put a little effort into your dating profile instead of using slang, symbols, tons of errors or one sentence.  I'm just saying.

I met this guy last night that I met online.  I thought it was so weird because we didn't really talk online, we didn't talk on the phone but he was ready to meet.  My first thought was dang, can we get to know each other a little first before we meet.  Can we talk on the phone, email or something. But I thought this must be how it is.  So I decided to meet him.

He did ask for my number and had texted me a couple of times before we met.  Which from his text, I could sense his aggressiveness and I didn't like it too much.  He was ready to meet now but I was unavailable for a least a week.  He called to see what part of the mall I was at and I just didn't like the tone in his voice. 

We finally meet and he comes to me like we were friends who hadn't seen each other for a while.  He hugs me and his hands go down my back.  Then he escorts me with his hands on my lower back into the mall.  Now I was thinking the whole time, really?  I really don't like to be touched and you are just being too friendly. 

I'm so thankful for my friend D-riz because if it wasn't for him and our friendship, I would have probably went off with the way "C" was touching me. 

We get into the mall and he puts his arms around my shoulder.  Well your instincts directs you to put your arm around his waste.  Unfortunately that did not happen.  I kept my hands down to my side and we walked that way through half of the mall.  All I could think of was D-riz and how I only like when we walk like that.  

We get to the area where "C" wants to sit but it was taken.  So we walk toward the food court and he stops and says, 'You go ahead and directs me upstairs with his hand and says he will be right up there in a couple of minutes.  He had to do something.  So I go sit in the food court and wait for about 10 mins.  He finally comes up and we chatted. 

He didn't want to eat in the food court and wanted to go to his house where he had food already cooked that he wanted.  He kept on insisting that we leave and go to his house but I stood my ground.  As he reached across the table to hold my arms, he reassured me that he wasn't going to rip me apart or rape me and that I can trust him. 

He sat down for 10 mins and then takes this phone call which was from a girl, you can tell through the code talk and the conversation in general.  He was on the phone for 30 mins., I started texting my friend.

He continue to touch me and rub my arms.  He pointed out all the things that I dislike about myself and he loved it.  My fat, my hairy arms, and so on.  He then was holding my arm and started hurting me and I told him that he was hurting me and to stop and he said it shouldn't hurt and to be still.  He was picking some bump on my arm and it hurt like crazy.  Psycho!

As we were leaving (I kept insisting that he needed to leave so he wouldn't be so hungry), he wants to hold hands while walking down to our cars.  I kept pulling my hand away and since he wouldn't stop, I held him on the arm. 

He talked about how he thought we were compatible and he's trying to keep his lips to himself because he wants to kiss me.  He also said he could tell by my body language that I wasn't feeling him.  Um, good catch, hello you had a 30 min conversation with some girl, lied about what you were doing, and then end the conversation because you got upset.  The social worker in me was trying to help you out because I can see the tears in your eyes, so yea, not feelin' you at ALL!

We get to the entrance of the mall and I told him that I going to stay and shop.  He wanted to know when we were going to meet again.  I reinterated that I wasn't going to his house yet which he still wasn't to pleased because I was making things formal and he wants it to be informal so we can be comfortable.  As he had me so close in his arm, you could tell he was ready to make a move and I ducked out of it and said whenever he wanted to do something to name the place besides where we already talked about.  So he was  thinking to the movies or somewhere "formal" since I'm taking us there.

He left and you could tell he was very upset.  I on the other hand felt gross.  Needed to shower.

I'm ready to quit but  I was told not too and to give it another try. Another friend told me to quit the current site and she would help me start a profile at a different site.

We will see!