Ready to Leave

I don't know where I should go, I just know I need to go.

Watching him love someone else hurts so much.  I try to deal, I try to be happy but all I do is cry.  I feel like such a bad person because he deserves this and my selfish self is envious of her because she has his heart.

I need to leave, to where I do not know.  I think I could be a better friend if I wasn't so close.  Maybe the distance would help me get him out of my head but most importantly out of my heart.  Truthfully, if I leave, I'll just be out of sight out of mind to him and he will easily go on with his life.  It will probably be me still struggling.

He's starting to mature in areas of his life.  It makes me happy and sad at the same time.  To see my prayers being answered for him but to also know that he's not mine.

I'm missing my family more and more.  He's started reconnecting with his family which is great but now I have no one.  It's hard being in a place where you have no one and I think about it alot.

I'm ready to leave...to be closer to family.