Outcast

Do you ever feel like this?

It's not "normal" to tell the peeps you are related to and live 6 miles down the road from, see you next month (at the next ceremony).  I'm yelling, THAT'S NOT CUTE!!  I thank the Lord for giving me that extra strength to handle people in my life and to ultimately make the best of the situation (even though I have a hissy fit beforehand).

I really miss being in close proximity to my Mom and Sister.  Also, my family that lived here and moved to ATL, I miss them soooo much.   I struggle listening to people who have their immediate family here and they don't see them or they complain to me about petty things (I think) such as:

1. My kids always want me to cook dinner for them. I'm tired of always cooking.  They're grown and should be cooking for me.

    I can't wrap my mind around for holidays that you eat alone because there was a argument about who was going to cook, buy the food or where to eat.  I eat alone on holidays because I have no one here and my money is funny and distance prohibits the visits.  However, these last few years I have driven over 10-17 hrs just to have holidays with my family (where I help buy food and help cook...Come on family) and some people can't drive 10 mins.  That ain't right (In my Chris Rock National Security voice)

    Family is important to me and when I have my own family, I want that bond that I invision for my family now. My mother enjoys cooking dinner for my sister and I or anyone for that matter.  We talked about how if she was closer, we could do the Sunday dinner at her house.  She misses those times too.

2. My kid will only come over when I ask to take out the trash or help around the house.

3. I put a sign on my door for my family because they don't know when to go home when they come and visit so I don't open the door.

    Well you would hate me as a family member because I know I don't.  It's so sad because I do this with my friends.  I just enjoy being around them so much that I don't want to leave. That's probably why I'm a nerd.

    I appeciate my friends so much.  I try not to bother them too much because many of them have their own life and families.  However, if it wasn't for them, I don't know how I would survive and still be sane.  God has definitely been my provider and I'm so grateful for the people he has put in my path.  I just hope that I can be as much of a blessing to them as they have been to me.

    I have to apologize to my friends for being so overly.  I really don't mean to be such a bother at times, it's just that you are my family and lifeline.

This is my theme song for MY family when it happens.  I understand that struggles are going to happen but we are family...blood...We should and must be there for one another, forgive each other and make the best of every situation.