What the Problem Is?

As my heart is heavy tonight for numerous reasons, I say Thank you Lord for letting me see my advancements for the best.  Thank you Lord for allowing me to see glimpse of your people.  Lord, help me to help them.

Lord help me to not be the problem in my life and others.

I'm at a place now in my life where I can see how anger can do more damage to my future than my past.  I will say that I'm not walking anger free but I'm glad I'm not where I use to be.  Walking in total forgiveness is hard especially when we have to be the "bigger" person or when we are dealing with family members.

As I sit and watch the past control my son.  I hurt.  I'm sadden.  I feel helpless.  I want him to see but I don't know how to show him that this bondage he's in is really doing more harm than good.  I haven't lived his life but I understand the anger, hurt, and abandonment on some levels that he's been through.

I definitely don't want to give kuddos to the enemy but I'm aware he has a job to do and he's on it.  He has come to steal, kill and destroy.  If we are not careful, we can get so caught up that we see no light at the end of the tunnel.

I want to take away his hurt and pain but I know that only God can do that but first he has to release and move forward with time.  It sounds easy and I guess logistically it is but I think in reality it's harder than it seems.  I've just realized that probably 2 weeks ago, I've seen how I've grown in this area and I've been moving forward.   Now I'm not perfect and those unforgiving tendancies and memories arise but I have to make the choice not to dwell on them and to do what is right which is ultimately what God would do or want me to do.  I will admit that I get in the way many of times of doing what is right and I know in the end, I am only hurting myself.  However, as long as I don't get stuck in the mode, I can have hope that it will get better.

This is my prayer not only for myself but for my son.  No need to explain, it says it all. Amen.