I held my first staff meeting today with "my" staff. I was super nervous but I felt like it went well. 8 of the 13 staff showed. Of course, there were some things that I missed but I'll catch it on the flip side. They seemed pretty receptive during the meeting part. When it was time to organize and clean, some of them were able to get into their little groups and fuss.
It makes me so mad and frustrated because they do it in plain site like no one knows what they are huddling about. All these little huddles and pow wow's are just annoying when they do them. Now the more outspoken ones were not there today which was good. I just don't think I can handle all of their attitudes and rebellion at the same time. Even though I've been doing it so far.
I wonder and ask God, am I reaping the seeds that I sowed as a employee? Maybe I'm not cut out to be a supervisor? I have to believe that God has put in me the tools I need to overcome these obstacles. I think this job is going to bring me back to my knee's. Which is where I need to be anyways or more often than I am.
I'm so grateful for the newer staff, man. They have been so willing to do whatever asked without lip, they work the hardest and do what needs to be done.
The first day is over and tomorrow we get a cold day off. It's currently 10p and it's -4 degree. So you can imagine what it feels like.
Lord, I thank you for getting me through my first meeting of the year. Thank you for strength. Thank you for your love.
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