A Little Understanding

"In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it." --Mitch Albom, Five People You Meet in Heaven

I've been pondering this quote since I've seen it.  For about a month, I just kept thinking.  Well I understood why I felt what I did but I couldn't understand why I no longer needed to feel it.  The only think I kept thinking was because he wasn't mine.

My friend's cousin, posted on ig, "We always want who we can't have...Man, ish sucks"

My response, "And because we want them, doesn't mean we are suppose to have them.  Sucks (meaning hurt also) the same but we must refocus and keep moving forward.  God has someone for you but while you're waiting, let Him work on those areas that need worked on.  Keep your head up."

It was kind of weird, it was almost automatic when I started writing on his post.  I was talking to myself as I was writing it and I needed that word for me just at that moment.  I've heard this word from many people during my struggle with my situation but for some reason, I felt a little release as I was writing it for him.  I wanted to go on and say but this was the word for me, sometimes we can't have them at this moment because it's not meant for us to have them but it may be meant for us to have them later on.

It was at this moment when I read his post that I realized why I no longer need to feel what I felt.  Because I have things that I need to work on in my life so that I can be the woman, wife, mother, and help mate that God has called me to be and I want to be for my spouse.  But more importantly, he has things that he needs to see, work on and understand in order to be the man God has called him to be.

Sometimes we think we are ready for a relationship or ready to be with "the one" for the rest of our lives.  I mean come on, how much longer do we have to wait.  But in reality, there is something that we can always work on.  Even in our married state, we need to work on things about ourselves.  So then you ask, why can't I work on these things while I'm married?  There are some things that need to be worked out as a single person and if it's not corrected before marriage, marriage could end or not turn out how it should.

"Reflect, Refocus, and move Forward"

Thank you Lord for this revelation.  I had been struggling for some time about this situation and did not understand why.  I know you probably got tired of me asking why and crying out to you that I don't understand.  Yet you continue to be there and let me vent to you.  Thank you for being a God who wants the best for me and my life.  Lord as I wait on you, fix those areas in my life that need fixing.  Help me to love me for me and to see me how you see me.  Thank you for always loving me and sending people in my life to show me your love even though it's hard to receive.  Lord help me to receive your love and be comfortable in receiving at not always giving.  I pray your will be done in my life, situation, my friends life and his cousin. Your name I pray Jesus. Amen.