Thank You Lord for Your Covering

I know this is my Wordless Wednesday post but All praises to God for His protection.  My sister, her friend and I were driving home from Oklahoma on Sunday through Joplin.  Took a picture of a tornado forming but did not know we were minutes away from actually being a victim/survivor of the real storm.

All Praises to God for his grace and mercy!

I Made My First Ever Tamale

I was invited to a Tamale Party and had the best time ever.  I actually made, rolled up my first ever Tamale.  It's not as easy as it looks.  The masa, the corn meal looking stuff was actually tricky to get on the corn husk appriopriately.

I would love to do this again and master the art of rolling Tamales.  I do not know how the ladies in Mexico ever did this.  I definitely would have been in the clean up crew.  I think more than ever, I appreciate the work that goes into making Tamales.

I might share the recipe on here a little later so you can try at home.

Wordless Wednesday: Marketing Fail

Some People Say...

LOVE STINKS!!!

I say, you've been looking in the wrong place!!

Out of the Mouth's of Babe's

Happy Mother's Day!

I love you Momma and I wish I was with you during this weekend.  I'll see you in a couple of weeks!

This day more than past year's has made me a little emotional.  I have been more sensitive to what people say, even though they mean nothing by it.

I do not have any children but I've helped raised cousins, nieces and nephews along with the children at my community center.  Just because you can have children or do have children, that doesn't make you any more of a mother than those who can't have children or don't have children. 

Friday, as one of my co-workers were leaving, she say's, "Good-bye, have a good weekend and Happy..."  Then she tell's the other worker, Oh, I guess I can't say that to her, I was going to say Happy Mother's Day.  "Well Happy big people day" and starts talking to the other worker as they walk out the building, I guess she's a mother to many of these kids and the other one says, yeah she is, she was just out there getting onto a little kid in the park.  When they left, I just sat there and said to myself, Really, Really...why can't she just keep her mouth shut!

So when I was leaving, I have to walk by the park to get to my car.  It never fails, when I walk to my car, I get bum rushed by kids.  Well today, it was a little 5year old who is in my center.  She runs up to me and says Ms. Melissa can I go home with you and be your daughter as she holds my hand.  This little girl I believe is God sent.  Everyday she always compliments me on something, gives me a hug and says she misses me.  She's only 5 but she recognizes things that my co-workers or even the older kids don't. 

My little buddy!

So we proceed with our conversation as I'm still walking to my car...
Me: No you can't go home with me.
Her:  You don't want me to be your daughter?
Me: I would love for you to be my daughter but your mommy would be said if you went home with me and she could see you.  (Now granted, she is 1 of 7 kids) And besides, my daughter's name would be Leah.  What's your name?
Her: She says her name.
Me:  See you can't be my daughter, her name would be Leah.
Her:  Oh, my name is Leah.
Me: No it's not, you just told me your name.

Still walking to the car as she is holding my hand and we are swinging our hands.
Me: So what's your name?
Her:  The name you want your daughter.
Both: We started laughing. 

As I'm walking out in the street, I tell her that she needs to go back into the park so she won't get in trouble.  But she continues toward my car.  Again I tell her, get back in the park now.  She says, I want to go home with you.  I said you can't but I will see you on Monday okay.  She walks back into the park.  As I get in my car and start it, she runs to the fence and started talking to me.  I waved by to her.  As I looked back in the rearview mirror, she's running down the sidewalk saying Noooooo, don't go.  I took a picture but you can't see it that well.  Such a heart breaker.

Out of the mouth's of babe's...they can change your whole mood just by the simple things they say.  The Lord knew I needed that just then.  He was right on time!  Thank you Lord for my kiddos.  I thought I would share some photo's of me and some of my kiddos they took with me.



Teaching some of my older girls how to prepar Thanksgiving dinner. 
(Remind me to share the funny story about this later)

One of my kids who graduated last year, she has been in my program since she was 11 yrs old.




The kids loved taking pictures in the snow!  Who knew!

 

Seen the Red crayola by the Crayola Cafe, just had to take a picture.



Okay, this is the only one he would let me take but came out good. 
With most of my boys, I have to do surprise pics.



These are my faithful girls.  I see them everyday!



Only got on the horse because the kids wanted me too.  I was so ready to get down.  One of my boys was easing the horse because it had a attitude.

Also this past week, a mom (who all three of her kids are in my programs) came to me and said so when are you going to do things with the adults.  I said, I do have things for the adults but you all don't seem to come out.  I come out Ms. Melissa.  Yes, you do and there are about 3-5 faithful people but what about the other 130 people.  Well, Ms. Melissa, my kids never want to leave you and they always get upset when it's time for me to pick them up.  When we are at home, they always talk about you and how they need to get to the center to see you.  I want to know you like my kids know you.  I want to understand when they talk about you.  All I can say is Wow (I don't want to know me sometimes)!!  When I think I'm not making a difference and all my effort is in vain, God shows up!

I thank you Lord for my mom.  For the values she has installed in me.  I thank you Lord for my kid's mom.  Thank you for allowing their kids to participate in my programs.  Lord, I pray that I will be the light in their lives that is missing.  I pray that I will be more positive and that their environment does not effect me but that I affect it.  We are here because of you and you know the plans for my life and the kids that I see.  I pray Lord for salvation and that you will be the change in their life they need.  Thank you for loving me.

Ready to Kick My Feet Up

This is my wordless Wednesday entry!

Time to Let Go

Disclaimer:  I am not perfect.  I fall daily, hourly, and by the second.  My thoughts are not always what they should be and my actions sometimes aren't the best.

**Warning: This is a vent session, sorry!**

It's time to say good-bye to our friendship.  I don't say this easily because I cherish friendships and it's so hard to find good friends. 

I will admit that I lost a GREAT friendship.  Although it was probably a mix of both of us but I will take the jist of it because of emotions.  So the above quote, I can testify along with many of us.  Have you lost a friendship that was God given and because of whatever the situation may be parted?  Have you prayed for restoration of that friendship?  I would love to hear success stories. 

This friend/co-worker is a little over 15yrs older but you would think that she is younger by the way she acts.  She is a very sweet person but she is letting her personal life situation control her emotions as well as she is almost 50 years old and is using the "age right of passage" excuse.  What's the "ARP" excuse you ask?  It's when you say, "When you get my age, you have the right to..."; "At my age, I just don't care what I say."; or "I've been through so much at my age...".

She already has that "all about me" personality and for the last 3 years, it's gotten worse.  I try to think about the good things and don't let how she is acting now affect how I feel but I see treating her that way she treats me.  Well I made a comment once and it wasn't nice but she just signed a lease for a new car and the color of the car was a hunter green.  I didn't like the color mainly because I had to get used to it.  She asked if I liked the color of her car and I said no.  Now I would usually be more settle about it but I just flat out said no and she thought that was mean that I said that.

I got her something for Christmas this past year and she only got me something because I got her something but that's besides the point.  The next day she said, thank you for the gift but I don't like re-gifting gifts but I'm trying to figure out who I could give your gift to.  I really don't like the smell of the lotion and body wash because of the sandlewood.  I was so shocked and hurt that I just agreed and went with the flow.  Then the following day, she gives me a gift and said I know you are going to like your gift because I like it.  I wanted to say so bad, I bet I will but I need a gift to give away to someone else and I'm going to do that but I didn't.

Her birthday was last week, on the same day as a going away party for another co-worker.  So they both got gifts.  Not a thank you for my gifts but as soon as the other co-worker came in to thank me for her gifts and cards, she came in and said thanks for the card, it was great.  We'll the card isn't as great as I normally pick out, which I told her that but she insisted it was.It just didn't feel sincere.

Today when I came in, a co-worker said oh, you got a new doo and attitude huh!  I said I did get a new doo but not a new attitude.  Well she leaves her office, comes to my door and looks at me and then leaves to go talk with the other worker.  Then 5 mins later, she comes back to my office and looks at me again and then walks away to her office.  Inside, I was thinking really?  I can't believe she is doing this.  Then about an hour and a half later she comes back to my office and says, your hair does what my hair does in this kind of weather.  You probably had good curls yesterday...and I interrupt and said no, I didn't have good curls yesterday.  I couldn't believe what was coming out of her mouth.  JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL, your ACTIONS said enough!!  As she walked aways, she just repeated what I said about not having any curls on Sunday.

I know there are ups and downs to friendship and I've told her about the ways she's been acting and how it's unfair to everyone in the office and how she is not the only one going through things.  We all do but we don't bring it to work.  She said she knows that she is acting different but proceeded to talk about all the work she has to do and everything else.  Side note:  She has a staff of 5.  I have a staff of 1 (me).  And sometimes they have a staff of 6 because I'm helping them out alot but I have to beg to get assistance from them.

I say it's time because I've given all I can.  I've given advice, after advice, after advice but there comes a point when you have to stand and walk it out on your own (a message that I need to adhere to myself).  I give her advice all the time but she goes to alot of people to get advice and they tell her the exact same thing I so and when she tells me, it's like it's the first time she heard it and I always tell her.  It sounds like something I mentioned to you.  She says she knows but...

When I leave, saying good-bye will not be hard.  I'm ready and have had enough.  Once I'm gone and God is ready to move in the friendship, I won't resist but right now.  It's good-bye until we meet again and I'll be praying for you.

I must make a vow that I will NOT become my surrounding and let the Love of the Lord shine through me even when my flesh wants to knock people out take over.  I think that maybe I'm reaping what I've sowed in friendship.  Whatever is going on, I must stand and be kind.

I continue to think about how I've acted in friendships lost BUT I've been forgiven and many times it's hard for me to forgive myself.  I must use mercy just like my heavenly father has done for me and also use the wisdom he has given me.

Thank you Lord for friendships.  Thank you for allowing us to connect with one another on this earth while we wait to be in your presence.  We can only be who we think we are and I thank you that I am your daughter.  Royality.  Help me Lord to walk in royality and the most you have for my life.  Lord, bring those friendships in my life that will uplift me and I them.  Help me to forgive just like you have forgiven me.  Forgive me Lord for the unkindness I exhibit.  Help me to be a better friend and sow the seeds of a good and Godly friend.  Strenghten and increase my friendship circle according to the plans for my life.  I pray for restoration of those friendships that need to be restored.  I pray that they be better than before and friends will walk in true forgiveness.  In Jesus name, Amen.

5.1.11

On Sunday, May 1, 2011, I came home around 10:30p from Women's bible study.  I turned on the TV and what did I see?  Breaking news that Osama bin laden had been killed by US troops and the last 2 mins of President Obama's speech.

The news people on fox 4 had gotten Osama name wrong, it said Usama, so at first I was confused until they showed his picture.

I get on fb and it was confirmed that Osama bin laden is dead.  I continue to watch the news and my heart weeped as I watched people rejoicing and partying as if we won the superbowl or some type of sporting event.  My heart sunk even more when I read on facebook, people bashing the President.  I will say, I do not know what his speech was about because I heard really nothing but there was alot of hateful words being said about the President regarding this situation.

I felt like an alien in this world because I could NOT find it anywhere in my soul to be happy.  Someone was KILLED.  Yes, I remember what he did, I remember the bad things that I've done, and I remember Jesus dying on the cross, even for ole bin.  I am by far a holy roller, nor do I think that I'm above anyone else.  We all deal with situations in our own way and I am not judging.  I'm just sharing what I feel.  I really shocked myself by my reaction and I thought I would be happy.  Does this make me any less of an American?  Maybe it was because I'd just came from bible study, I don't know.

As I listened to people's comment all day regarding the situation, I seen and heard hate.  It was really hard to explain to people what I was feeling and why.  When I did share, people did not understand.  I want to thank KLove today because on my way home, I actually felt like my reaction was the right reaction and that I wasn't alone.  People were calling in, they were reading fb status and notes from people regarding yesterday's incident. 

I don't know why I responded the way I did (Thank you Jesus, you get the glory) but I do know that I will leave you with a quote from Martin Luther King, Jr regarding this situation...

"I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Thank you Jesus for loving me.  I am a sinner whose freedom and salvation was bought by your blood.  I am grateful that I am covered by your blood and so are my family members and friends.  Lord, I need you everyday of my life and so does this world.  Thank you for having grace and mercy on my life.  Thank you for forgiving me of the things that I do and think that are not of you.  In Jesus name, Amen.