I went to a different school district today as I will probably be in that school district. It was crazy different that the "city's" schools. It's so sad to see the big difference of the struggle of the inner city.
Poverty looked different. I say that because there are a lot of families that are struggling but their struggle looks different than the city but it's the same.
What shocked me and made my heart smile is that the site coordinator at the school I went to today is Christian and many of her staff and they are walking in it. They have a church come and do bible study with the kids, she gives bibles to the kids, they will pray with them and let God use them. How amazing is that. Yaaas Lord!!! I hope that I will be able to minister at my school and allow God to use me.
I'm so thankful that God is always looking out for me. The drive is going to be a little but I think worth it.
It's been a struggle for me because I want to step up so many times and say something and when I talk it through with people, my answer is "I'm just going to trust God". There are many times but God is truly keeping me and I believe the best will happen in this situation.
If you know me, I'm a pretty "in charge" person. Another way of saying it, a control freak. Sometimes, I just need to sit back and trust God and let him be in control. Man this faith walk is not easy but so far it's been worth it!
I'm so Thankful and can't say thank you Lord enough for having me during this new season of my life. Yes, there is still another area that I'm struggling in and I'm trusting in time, it will work out how it should.
Man, to really know what freedom is and what it feels like. I've experienced that in my transition. I've wanted to know what true freedom feels like and I'm living in it right now. I'm so grateful and blessed that it's unreal. You know that feeling of when everything is going right and feeling right and you wonder when is "IT" going to hit. You know that saying, it's too good to be true...Yep, I'm there. I can't believe how good I feel and excited I am to get up and go to work.
I hope and pray that the site they put me on runs as smoothly or even better than the one I'm training at. Reggie has a good team of people and they make working fun. Of course you have those problems, which I've already seen but he's a good supervisor and his team looks up to him. I am a little nervous coming in mid point to a school and team that's been basically running itself and establishing leadership. That's where you can either make or break your job. So I'm praying for God's favor in the school and my staff.
I'm so excited that I'm happy. Well in my job life. Now the other area, not so much. I really miss my buddy, my ride or die, my ace boon, my bestie with the cute chesty, my other half, my smile, my memory...I could go on. I miss seeing his face, hearing his voice, hearing how his day is, hearing the excitement in his voice when he talks about his passion, helping him with his goals...I miss everything about him.
I'm hoping this new job will help me not to ponder on the memories of him, the things I miss and so on. I feel like I need to delete his pictures and the memories because I look at them EVERY single day. Why because I miss him EVERY single day. He is my regret but I have to believe that God has someone for me. No he may not be exactly like him but he will be perfect for me. I felt that my bestie was perfect for me. I thought he was perfect. Even though I still have hopes that just maybe he is the one and later down the road it will work out (it makes it even harder when my friends are trying to be supported of me and say nice things like this and say we looked cute together or we looked perfect but in reality it hurts so much and I just smile but later cry about it)...I know that he loves his girlfriend and he believes she's the one for him. So I still stand happy for him as much as it literally hurts me to see them together, to see pictures of her and to hear him talk about her or them. I suck it up because he's my friend. However, I can't help to think that he doesn't look happier with her, she's not taking care of him as she should but that's not for me to dwell on. This is my weak area right now in my life and I think the devil and along with my own flesh attacks me in this area. One day I will be strong and I will be able to not be hurt at the fact that we are not together.
I've been slacking with writing what I'm thankful for even though I think about it everyday.
Day 15: I was thankful for great weather and being able to enjoy it. I just sat onside on my stoop and enjoyed the fall weather, the sun, and the beautiful colors.
Day 16: I'm thankful for our country, the soldiers that fight for our freedom, people who put up these flags because this area was so beautiful. I'm sure it was just up for Veteran's Day.
Day 17: I was thankful for another day off. I felt so free and just wanted to be me. So this was me on Sunday.
Day 18: I was thankful for new beginnings and my first day on my new job. It was a great day and everyone was so nice.
Day 19: I was thankful for all the accomplishments at my other job. Listening to other new co-workers and the things they are or were doing made me think of my last job and the things I did. I'm super excited that I can continue the work.
Day 20: Today, I was thankful that I could go home during mid-day and catch up on Vam Di, eat lunch with past co-workers, and take a nap. I'm really going to like this job!
Well I have to get up early and check out the morning shift and see how that works. So off to bed because I have to be at the school by 6:45a. I'm actually super excited about it. I hope I can get some sleep.
These last few days have been very hectic and stressful. I've been thinking about what I'm thankful for and through all of our good and bad times, we should find something to be thankful for. Well, I had been struggling to find what I'm thankful for.
13: I'm thankful that for the second part of my exit interview, I got to go to a new restaurant for me called 52 Seasons. It's a fancy pantsy place but I liked it. They change their menu weekly and every season, hints the name.
14: Thankful for the Power of Prayer. I turned in my keys tonight and on my way home. It hit me. It's done. I was strong all week for all my clients and co-workers but it hit me good and hard. And really I was good until my Bestfriend showed up. Only prayer can get me out of this slump. Thankful that prayer still has power.
Well today I was suppose to turn in my work belongings but a Social workers job is never done. I still have so much to do. So I will be turning them in on Thursday. Man, 12 years...super crazy. I'm going to miss so much about this job. This has been my life.
I'm super excited and nervous about my new journey and pray that God continues to hold my hand or carry me through these next upcoming years.
I don't know how I missed day nine? I think it was because I was feeling everything else.
Day 9: I was thankful for empty workplace. I went into work on Saturday and got so much done. It was because there was no one to talk to me. For some reason, everyone likes to come into my office to talk? It's like that at both of my properties, smh. It feels good that the atmosphere in my office is welcoming but they also need to get the hint that it's time to leave. I'm going to really miss those office times with my staff. My new job, I don't think I will have an office. The "big" wigs have offices and there are alot of cubicles.
Day 11: Today, I'm thankful for my bed. Today has been a draining day. Saying good-bye to the people at one of my sites. We had our Thanksgiving dinner and there were over 70 people that stopped in to say good-bye and get to-go plates. Took pictures and received alot of hugs and nice gifts. Very nice send off.
"The power of life and death is in our tongues..." Prov 18:21
We can encourage people or we can tear people apart with our words. I don't think we really realize how much power we have. How important our words mean to people.
I guess specifically...God's word.
Creflo said in his sermon today that's it's important to stand and speak God's word not speaking positive words. I'm not saying don't speak positive words but when we are standing and trying to get through a storm, God's word is what's going to get us through. Being positive helps but God's word has power.
During my transition, it's been pretty tough as negative words are being said, my supervisor has been saying things that haven't helped because she want's me to stay and the kids have been making me cry. However, the positive words that people have been saying have really helped and it's really speaking to my spirit. I'm not normally a person who needs that but it's been hard and their encouragement is making me strong literally. I'm so glad that I have faith right now and I've been standing on it.
A friend who doesn't speak to me as much texted me today and said, "Rejoice in the midst of your struggles." I needed to hear that because the change of everything is really getting to me. I'm going to get through this but I need to give God the praises through it all.
Life is not easy and the challenges we face are not always easy but we can make it with God and can as long as we rejoice.
The word in the house of God these past two Sunday's have been to "stand".
I'm telling you, with only 2 days of work left. I want to say some choice words to some people but I'm standing on my character and values and not falling into my flesh. I'm just so tired of the snakes and I'm so worried about my friend who still has to work with them. All I can do is use my words and pray for him which I do, more than me at times.
Again, I'm thankful for words and the life that is spoken into my life, the prayers that have been prayed over me and God's word.
"...Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." 1 John 4:4 (KJV)
Sometimes, I don't give myself enough credit of how strong I really am. I think it's because I'm so tired of being strong that when I'm in my "give up" mode. I don't see myself as strong. I've always had to be strong for someone else. Then as a Social Worker, people seem to always depend on you. They think your judgement is better than theirs. Which sometimes they are right but only right in whose eyes?
It's crazy how strong my clients think I am. They want to be like me and have my strength when in reality, I think I'm so weak. As a Social Worker, you wear many different hats. As an advocate for many of my clients, I will say I exhibit a confident that I don't do for myself and I try and get things done for them that they can't do for themselves. And I typically do. I think they see that confident as strength which that could be one of the many looks of strength.
I will shoot bullets to help my clients get the help or services they need. Yep, watch out now! It sometimes amazes me how confident I can be when helping my clients but it doesn't come out when it's time for me to advocate on my own behalf. Why is that? Why are we able to stand up for other people or do things for other people that we can't do for ourselves?
I'm waiting for Boaz to come and take my struggles away. I want him to be strong for me, make those calls that need to be done, take care of business that needs handling and the list can go on. Is that fair that I want this from him. I want him to lead and I just want to follow him. But what if he's tired too? What if he doesn't want to always be strong but wants a woman his Ruth to be strong for him? Man, things that make you go hummm!
I have to realize that I'm stronger than I think. I can advocate on my behalf, I need to speak up, not let things get me down that I have no control over. I'm stronger, I have favor, I am loved, I am...
Some days it harder than others but that's going to come and go. Believing in myself and doubting myself. Through it all, there is social worker's inside me that is ready to fight on her own behalf. I can fight for me, there is nothing wrong with that. I have enough! I am woman hear me roar, Rooaarr!
Don't work yourself up, when God is working it out! There is too much God in you, for you to always be down and out. Kick the devil in the teeth and praise your way through. One small positive thought this morning can change your whole day. Start it right! No matter the situation, never let your emotions overpower your intelligence! @REALTALKKIM
These last three days have been a little frustrating. When good things happen or life seems to be going good, the enemy likes to kick in and knock you back down.
Due to God's favor, I am transitioning into a new job in 2 weeks. I'm really stepping out on faith and trying to stand firm on God's word and living in the overflow.
Two days ago, I noticed my car was overheating as the handle was on "H". I went to Firestone and I had enough coolant but they topped it off and I got an oil change. It was closing time for them so they were not going to be able to look into it. However, he stated that it could be the thermostat if it continues to do it. Well on my way home, it continues to do it. So I took it into the shop and determined it was the thermostat and water pump.
Day two of my car still being in the shop, for some reason, he had the parts shipped over-night and at 4p today it still was not in their hands but they were in the city somewhere.
Last night, I was able to take the company 15 passenger van home. The Supervisor was reluctant but he said yes. I was totally scared to ask for it again tonight so I texted him and 20 mins before it was time to go and he said yes. I was so grateful and happy because I'm really not in a job situation where I can have co-workers taking me home.
I'm thankful for God's favor and allowing me to use the van one more day. I just hope that my car will be ready tomorrow and I will not have any problems with it.
I went into SW years ago to make a difference. My motto has always been, if I can help just one person, then I've done my job. Well years ago, that would be okay to say that but now everything is about money and quantity. I totally understand that reasoning but I've been more of a quality person myself. In reality, I'm sure you need a good mixture of quantity and quality.
In the SW field you may not always get to see the rewards of the seed you planted, watered, or nurtured. So you really have to lean on faith and hope that your clients are doing well. There are times that you do get to see the difference you make or they come back and say Thank you. Of course we don't do the work to hear that but when you do get a chance to hear it, it just does something inside of you. You get that secret rejoice of "Yes, I made a difference" or "Thank you Lord, I'm in the right field". Whatever the emotion, it's always a good one and it always helps confirm that you should be doing what you are doing or you are where you should be.
Well I gave my resignation notice a week ago from today. Since then, I've received more accolades, hugs, and thank you over the past week than I can remember when. I'm usually not a person that needs to hear that but it feels good to hear that right now. I've been getting encouragement and positive blessings for my future and my soul really needs to hear that right now. It's weird but it's helping me get through this time.
I'm thankful for people who are making a difference in other's lives. I've realized that I'm making a difference and there are some great people out there who really care about people and really want the best for people. Stay encouraged and know that you matter, you are making a difference even if you see nothing manifest and the world needs you.
I so enjoy days off. Although I work so much that I don't really get to take days off. I will definitely need to learn how to take days off as I go forward. This will be one of my last days off before my transition.
On days off, the world just looks so much better. You feel better and see life a little differently.
I love nature and the changing colors of Fall. It's so beautiful and God is so amazing.
I really enjoy going to the movies. I went to go see "12 Days a Slave". It's been the rave on fbook. The theater was packed. I was really shocked. Did everyone take off today to go see this movie? The movie was definitely intense and heart felt.
I haven't been to an AMC theater in a long time mainly because it's so expensive. I usually go to Cinemark. But I decided to treat myself as AMC has the recliners now AND they do assigned seats. Crazy. I had to help these two older ladies find their seat. Yes, it's a little confusing but nice because you can go get refreshments and have your seat still there.
My feet were looking horrible so I treated myself to a pedi! Man, I used to dread getting them but then I went and got one and have been in love ever since. Now I'm pretty ticklish on my feet, that's the only down fault both otherwise, I suggest everyone get one. I really love the leg massage. Man, soo relaxing.
My next to last adventure of the day but the last "for me" was to get a upper ear piercing. The girl you did my nose piercing is no longer piercing so I went to a girl named Irene and I really liked her too. She has been doing this for 10 years. So has two gauges, two nose piercing and one under her lip and alot of tats. She was so fun!!! I'm sure I'll be back.
My day ended at Firestone as I noticed my car running hot. I went ahead and got a oil change and had them check the coolant. They said the coolant was a little low but not alot. So I leave and the handle went back up to hot. So frustrating! So I will be taking it to another shop in the morning to drop it off. Thank God for co-workers who are nice to pick me up.
All in all, it was a good day! Glad to have a day off.
I woke up this morning so excited to get to church to tell my testimony. I laid in bed and went over and over in my head how I was going to say it. Of course it did not come out like how I planned but grateful that I can give honor to God.
This song has gotten me through over the past month along with two others that I'm sure I will share later. Listen to this song and meditate on the words. It's an awesome song. Thank you Jesus!
Without Him living in me, I know I wouldn't get through this life. I'm grateful for the strength that he has given me and that I'm able to pull from that to get through those tough times. When I fully grasp the mightiness of Him inside me, I know I will be unstoppable.
I'm thankful that I can go out to eat when I want. Even though times are hard at times, I'm blessed to be able to stop by a fast food restaurant or sit down at an eating establishment. Not everyone is able to do that. Thank you Lord for always providing.
I'm thankful that I have a place of my own to lay my head!! I might live in a rough neighborhood and my duplex is not the nicest, I am thankful that I have a place to call my own. Thank you Lord!
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