Temptation

Temptation is nothing to be reckoned with.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Cor 10:13

So I haven't been on his page in over a month at least.  Today I broke that today. I'm in tears right now because I'm upset that I got on his page.  I was doing so well for so long.  I miss keeping up with him.  Now that I don't see him everyday, I feel like I don't know what's going on with him.  Is this what's suppose to happen?  I keep reaching out to him because I want him in my life.  I want to know about how he's doing. Especially during this time right now, I just don't want him to feel like he's alone even though I was just where he was and coming out of it as of 3 days ago.

I feel like I just relapsed today.  I had a anxiety attack and everything.  I just want him in my life.  He would say that he is but not how I want him to be.  The messed up thing about this is, I did okay with being on his page until I went further back and then I couldn't take it.  It's my fault though.  I should have just stayed within this month NO...I shouldn't have gotten on his page.

Man, all my feelings have surfaced.  I know how he is feeling that's what sucks.  Only God can heal him and I know there is nothing I can really do but I just want to love him back to health but it's not my responsibility.

 
Lord I need you.

I thought he was the one but his heart did not belong to me but someone else.  My prayer is that in our hearts, Lord you will be that special thing.  Lord hide my heart so deep in you that I will not be blinded by love but only see the love that you have for me.  Lord, I need you, please hear my tears as my words are everywhere.

Day 10: Thankful for Words

"The power of life and death is in our tongues..." Prov 18:21

We can encourage people or we can tear people apart with our words.  I don't think we really realize how much power we have.  How important our words mean to people.

I guess specifically...God's word.

Creflo said in his sermon today that's it's important to stand and speak God's word not speaking positive words.  I'm not saying don't speak positive words but when we are standing and trying to get through a storm, God's word is what's going to get us through.  Being positive helps but God's word has power.

During my transition, it's been pretty tough as negative words are being said, my supervisor has been saying things that haven't helped because she want's me to stay and the kids have been making me cry.  However, the positive words that people have been saying have really helped and it's really speaking to my spirit.  I'm not normally a person who needs that but it's been hard and their encouragement is making me strong literally.  I'm so glad that I have faith right now and I've been standing on it.

A friend who doesn't speak to me as much texted me today and said, "Rejoice in the midst of your struggles."  I needed to hear that because the change of everything is really getting to me.  I'm going to get through this but I need to give God the praises through it all.

Life is not easy and the challenges we face are not always easy but we can make it with God and can as long as we rejoice.

The word in the house of God these past two Sunday's have been to "stand".

I'm telling you, with only 2 days of work left.  I want to say some choice words to some people but I'm standing on my character and values and not falling into my flesh.  I'm just so tired of the snakes and I'm so worried about my friend who still has to work with them.  All I can do is use my words and pray for him which I do, more than me at times.

Again, I'm thankful for words and the life that is spoken into my life, the prayers that have been prayed over me and God's word.

All Praise Be To God Almighty

Shouting...

HALLELUJAH, THANK YOU JESUS!!!

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.  And if we know that he hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have what we ask of him" --1 John 5:14-15

My car is READY!  I first want to say how thankful I am to be able to drive a vehicle from my job. It's in really bad shape but it didn't matter.  I'm thankful for family and friends who prayed for me, and I'm thankful that I believe in a God that hears my voice, cries, and heart. I thankful for God's favor, grace, and mercy.  It has been the longest 2 weeks of this month.  It was two weeks ago from this day that "Millie" decided she had enough and needed some TLC.  As I have shared, the dealership never called me the whole two weeks.  Today was their first call to me and it was to tell me my car was done.  Yes, I'm thankful for those words but not knowing anything and having people concerned about me was hard.  I called five of the fourteen days and ironically, I kept getting, we don't know what's wrong with your car, we are still trying to determine what the problem is.  Then one answer was we think it's this and we order parts and it won't be in for another 3 days.  Then the call right after that, we still don't know anything.  Why?

Nevermind the why, I'm thankful for favor and that I do not have to purchase a new car which was my fear.  Everything was covered except for $210 for diagnostic.  Thank you Lord!  This is my awesome testimony, and God deserves ALL the PRAISE!!!

This was the first time that I didn't break down emotionally.  I really gave the situation over to God.  Matthew 6:25-26, talks about not worrying about your life, which is anything pertaining to what you are going to eat, wear, decisions, and situations.  He takes care of the birds in the air and our lives are just as important if not more than theirs.  God brought this scripture to rememberance during this time and let me tell you, I have seen some really fat birds lately.  Just this morning while brushing the snow off my car, their were at least 5 birds on a branch near by.  Their bellies were soo big.  I thought, man they are so eating good.  Isn't it amazing that God takes care of us the same way and even better.

With this second chance, I WILL take better care of my car.  God blessed me with Millie, she is MY first car that I purchased and put every single mile on her except 3. I'm going to work on cleaning her out and keeping her maintenanced appropriately.  I've been blessed with her and I want to show God that I can be responsible for more of his blessings.

Lord, thank you so much for your favor on my life.  Thank you for your grace and mercy.  Thank you for your love.  It's by your might that I have been blessed, not by anything grand that I have done.  Lord continue to order my steps as I get my priorities in order and take care of my business.  I love you.  Your name I pray, Amen.