Mixed Emotions

I don't want to say good-bye.  Why?  I don't know, it feels like it's something stronger than me pulling me toward him.  Even when I'm being treated unfairly in my eyes, even when I feel unappreciated, even when I don't feel the love...I still want to be with him.

They say it gets better one day at a time, just be patient and give it time.  It's hard when they were your life, you would have gave anything to be their wife.  Learning that real love only comes from up above transcending down from my Heavenly Father.  I hate that I was a bother or couldn't be what they want.  Now it seems like it's all a front. I knew this day was going to come but I still don't understand why I feel so dumb. My love was real that's probably why I can't deal.  I'd rather be dead then go on as planned. 

Call me stupid but I will do anything for him, even if it's not convenient for me.  I said in a previous post, I'm not in love with him anymore but I do love him.  Tonight I was thinking, what's the difference.  Should there be a difference in my action?  In my thinking?

I got a glide yesterday and he "needed" me.  I felt so sorry for him, he was super sick.  I know how he gets when he's sick.  Did I do it because I loved him or because I'm in love with him?  I'm going to say because I love him.  When I get to his house, I wanted to do more but I didn't.  I wanted to "really" take care of him but I didn't.  I wasn't my place and as hard as it was for me to just sit and listen, I did just that.  I wanted to do more and I think now if I did, it would have been because I'm in love with him.  I wanted to curl up next to him and just hold him and rub his back and forehead. I wanted to get a wet cloth and put on his forehead. Again, I wanted to really take care of him.

I will say, Thursday's actions was because I was in love with him.  I brought some juice over and he was disappointed.  It really really hurt my feelings.  I'm telling you, my mind is so strong and people really don't understand and I don't sometimes how my mind talks me out walking in the flesh.  My mind talks me out of reacting ALL the time.  If I didn't care so much about how other people felt, I would be a ticking bomb.  It's so scary.  It's probably been a month and a half since I've hung out with him at his place with everyone.  I enjoy being with everyone but I just don't like activity. I tell myself every single time, you will just leave in advance but it doesn't happen.  It happened a couple of times and I felt bad because they knew what I was doing.  It happened again on Thursday, well I hadn't planned on staying.  I stayed and I told myself I would just leave but at that moment, that feeling of I love him and I want to be around him and so on happened.  I was asked to sit by him even though I think he wanted the other girl to sit by him. He was flirting with her and I tried with all my might to not let it get to me.  No matter what I say and do inside my head to not feel sad or jealous, it tears me up each time. A side note: Two different incidents, he took double takes of some chicks while I was with him.  I've never seen him do that before.  I just felt the knife repeatedly being stabbed in my heart.  Sorry got a little side track, so later on that night, we were joking and playing and it felt like old times again. He was being flirtatious but I had to tell myself, this is NOT how he is feeling it was the situation.

It's like a game!  Don't play your feelings and you won't get hurt.

Last night, felt almost normal again. I said almost, haha!  We went to the movies to go see TMNT.  Two thumbs up by the way.

I think time away really helped me to detach as well as being treated the way I was.  It hurt and still hurts thinking about it but I guess this is what needed to happen for me to un-attach myself.  I knew it was going to happen but I didn't think it would be so painful.  Main reason why I want to leave this place.  Maybe I wouldn't be so jealous as he lives his life and crushes/likes/loves on other girls.

I miss my friend and I pray that God's will be done in our relationship.

Stop Pimpin' Your Heart

Okay, this is completely on a different note but I needed to add...

This dude is so freakin' fine!!!  Pictures like this is why I can't get over him.  He looks like a famous person.  Well he's famous to me, I would throw my...at him any day.  You better get his autograph quick because it's going to be worth money one day.  He is so sexy and any woman would be lucky to have his heart.  Yes, he has the outer package but his soul is just as beautiful.  I fell in love with his inner being and only God can help me to get over him and move on.  As much as I don't want to because he was the first person that ever made me feel beautiful and I believed him when he would tell me.  He exemplifies what unconditional love is and I experienced that because of him and it was amazing.

So for a while now, I've been feeling so lonely.  I don't have many friends, I live the life of a loner.  That's kind of been almost my whole life.  There are moments that I wish I had a lot of friends but when I'm given the option, I would rather just stay at home and chill.  I wish I was living in my other apartments so I could host people at my place.

Lately, I feel like I don't have anyone.  There is the saying of to have friends, you need to be a friend.  Maybe I'm not being a good enough friend.  I will admit, thinking about it now, I do half step but it's because I feel like the people I talk to are "needy".  I feel like all they want to talk about is them and their situation.  When I try to talk about what's going on in my life, they just listen enough so they can respond about how they can relate and go back to them.  It's frustrating but in the same matter I don't mind listening to other people and I tend to not talk about me much anyway.  But it just seems so one-way to me.

The people that I feel like genuinely listen, I don't talk to them everyday like I want to and then I feel like I'm just one-way to them.  It's so nice to have people who are willing to listen that I feel like that's all I do is talk about me.  I know I'm sounding hypocritical right now. The thing is, the people that I talk to that are needy have other people that care and they talk to just the same.  I don't.

Like my Baby Daddy up there..okay, my Mista..alright, I'll quit playing my Bestie, I talk his ear off all the time.  He allows me to talk and I'm sure I talk his ear off.  I wish I could talk to him everyday but I don't get that opportunity.

That could also be my problem too.  See I want that friendship that I talk to someone everyday but then again, I had that with certain people and it was kind of getting on my nerves.  So I don't know what I want and need.

I've come to the conclusion today that when I get to a point like I am right now, the feeling of having no one in my life to depend on.  It means I need to refocus on Jesus.

I feel like I've been pimpin' out my heart for love.  I've been looking for love in all the wrong places.  I really want Mista to love me but he can't.  Even though I love him, it will not be reciprocated the way I need for it to be in my life to be happy.  I do things things for other people and go places even when I sometimes don't want to but that's not filling.  I feel like I'm not loved which brings on inappropriate thoughts lately.  

It's time for me to start seeking God.  He is the only one that really wants my heart and loves me the way that I need to be loved right now.  He will give me the desires of my heart once I'm ready and right now, I'm not in a healthy place.

I need to learn to love me for me and to see me as being beautiful.  I can't allow someone to love me when I don't believe that I deserve to be loved.

Temptation

Temptation is nothing to be reckoned with.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Cor 10:13

So I haven't been on his page in over a month at least.  Today I broke that today. I'm in tears right now because I'm upset that I got on his page.  I was doing so well for so long.  I miss keeping up with him.  Now that I don't see him everyday, I feel like I don't know what's going on with him.  Is this what's suppose to happen?  I keep reaching out to him because I want him in my life.  I want to know about how he's doing. Especially during this time right now, I just don't want him to feel like he's alone even though I was just where he was and coming out of it as of 3 days ago.

I feel like I just relapsed today.  I had a anxiety attack and everything.  I just want him in my life.  He would say that he is but not how I want him to be.  The messed up thing about this is, I did okay with being on his page until I went further back and then I couldn't take it.  It's my fault though.  I should have just stayed within this month NO...I shouldn't have gotten on his page.

Man, all my feelings have surfaced.  I know how he is feeling that's what sucks.  Only God can heal him and I know there is nothing I can really do but I just want to love him back to health but it's not my responsibility.

 
Lord I need you.

I thought he was the one but his heart did not belong to me but someone else.  My prayer is that in our hearts, Lord you will be that special thing.  Lord hide my heart so deep in you that I will not be blinded by love but only see the love that you have for me.  Lord, I need you, please hear my tears as my words are everywhere.

Writing in the New Year

This song will always remind me of you!

These last few weeks have been very emotional.  I do not want to think about this past year of 2013 and I don't want to think about 2014.

I have been playing it really surface today. But I guess I'll go a little deeper.

I'm know people are sick of seeing me post, talk and write about this situation but I can't help it or maybe I can and I just don't want to let go.

"Have you ever been in love, been in love so bad

You'd do anything to make them understand;

Have you ever had someone still your heart away

You'd do anything to make them feel the same; 

Have you ever loved somebody so much it make you cry..."--Brandy

I'll share the video I made for him for Christmas (It wouldn't post must not been meant for me to share).  It made me cry so much while putting it together but it was all done out of love.  I just don't want him to forget about me.  I guess because it already feels like he has.  Even though he has mentioned that he misses me, I have to realize it's going to be different than how I miss him.

I've been thinking how crazy and this is only my perspective but how we connected on so many levels and so fast.  It feels like I've known him my whole life and that we were meant to be. I know it's the past but my family thought we were cute together and they liked him.  His family was wondering, they might have never said anything to him or me but I know.  Even in Chicago, his friends thought there was something between us.

"You can't force chemistry to exist where it doesn't, 

in the same way you can't deny it when it does."

I feel the chemistry. My question is, is it in my head?  To feel chemistry does it take two people?  Have I made up this whole concoction in my head that I think I'm feeling something when there isn't?  So many questions but it's neither here nor there.  He's in a relationship with the person he thinks is "the one".  So what I think, feel, see or anything is irrelevant now.

*Warning, video has profanity in it* I was feeling this video when I heard it.  I also liked the one by 50 cent too.  I chose this one.

I miss him like someone misses their mate, spouse, or significant other.  Have I been blinded by love, lust, or infatuation?

Love isn't a feeling, it's shaving your balls." -American Wedding (I'm watching right now, lol)

I've been thinking a lot this past week after talking with him last week.  When I seen him, my feelings were still there and his hug, oh his hug!!!  It makes me weak.  But that's besides the point, I totally understand some of the things she's going through.  I commend her for talking about it.  I just learned to love and cried through it.  Then there are some things that make me want to slap the mess out of her.  Don't judge me. It's still hard to hear how he feels about her because it's exactly how I feel about him.  The exact same words that I have written down and feelings.  I'm happy for him and I just want him to be happy.

Memories:

I surprised him for his birthday

Skyzone, I almost died and he got it on video, resting between his legs not to lose my life

He was with me on my birthday in Atlanta (Best memory and road trip of the year)

Chicago trip that he took charge of, meeting his other best friend
Our talk in the vacant unit (miss those and love our talks)
House sitting while he was gone (miss his bed, teddy, and blankets but mostly with him in it; sung him a video song from Ps. was so scared)
He and his cousin made dinner and he brought me a plate (made me feel some kind of way)
He bought me a Snicker ice cream bar by surprise(I've always wanted to try) (it's the little things)

Meeting his dad and other family members

September, the day my heart was ripped out (Thankful for a friend who called and prayed me through, I was ready to leave this world that night)

Our first reunion on my last day of work (heartfelt)

Lunch at KC smoke burgers (man good conversations)

Being able to watch the video I made for him for Christmas (Priceless)

For the New Year, I have to and I think I'm ready to let go of these feelings and heal.  I'm ready to let go of these feelings.  I want to be able to just be his friend.  I'm ready to accept that God knows best.  Even if I'm not ready, I have to be ready...it's time.

"What hurts the most, is letting go

just to let you know, that I love you." --Monica

I'm so scared. I'm scared that I will never love someone unconditionally like this before.  I scared that I will never have a relationship that meant so much. I'm scared that I will never feel loved like this again. I'm scared that I will never open up again.  I'm so scared of so many things.  Yes, I have fear issues, I'm working on it.

"All my life, I prayed for someone like you" -Jodeci

I still get butterflies when I'm around him.  My heart pounds at the thought of looking at his social media page.  My heart started pounding a little harder just writing that.  I want to know what's going on in his life since we don't talk anymore but my heart can't handle seeing pics of them, reading comments about them or anything pertaining to "them".  I think it's so childish and people don't understand, shoot, I don't understand.  I can usually turn "it" off just like that and not care or fake it until I don't. It usually works.

"See it don't take a rocket scientist to know I love you

And it don't take a rocket scientist to know I need you

Never dreamed I'd be so happy and sure of myself" --702

Through all these feelings, I have a confession that I could only confess to him.

I don't know what the Lord has in store for our relationship.  I know that I pray for him more than I pray for myself.  His grandma has been in my spirit a lot lately and I seem to pray for her and his whole family.  I think about his best friend and sister.  I pray God's will.  Of course I want him to stay in my life but I have to be in a better emotional state so I can be the friend he needs.

I will always be grateful for the times we shared, the memories, good times, fun times and every moment with him.  Forever in my heart and prayers.  I'll love you more and always, your #999,999,999 + infinite!!!

A New Season...A New Day

This was my song this morning and for the last couple of weeks.  This is a new season in my life and I'm so grateful to God for opening up doors to a new job.  I feel like this is the beginning to more in life.  This song has gotten me through some rough days and some happy days.

I started my new job today.  It was a great day.  I think I'm really going to love this job.  I actually sat during orientation and wondered by I didn't apply for this job a lot sooner.  Man!!

There was two of us that started today and it was nice to have another person to start with even though he had worked for them prior and is just back and in a different position.

Okay, so I get PTO and sick leave.  Wow!! A real job and it starts on my 1st check in two weeks. I'm weak!  Doing my happy dance!

Everyone was super nice and loved their job and just happy to be working for this company.  Everyone said that I would love working for them.  I wonder if it's because we get the last 2 weeks off in December paid leave without using PTO. 

I took my picture today for my badge and got that today.  They give us t-shirts if we want to wear them. Just nice.  I'm just so thankful.

I've been praying for over a decade for a new job according to my journals.  Now that I have this job.  All those rough times, the things that drove me to hard core drinking green tea, crying, verge of jumping off the bridge and the years of praying.  It's all gone and means nothing now.

I've felt so much freedom and peace ever since I've made this decision.  Now, I did started having second thoughts around the last couple of days but it was real quick.

I pray that my job will continue to be good and I know it will because it's from God.

Thank you Lord for opening doors and providing me with this new job.  I'm pray you will continue to have favor on me and anoint me to do my job.

I Hate Good-byes

One of the hardest things I had to do tonight is say good-bye to my Bestfriend!

I have always been pretty much a loner or floater.  I was never one of those people who was in a certain "click".  I tend to get along with everyone, didn't matter who you were, I was going to talk to you even if you didn't want to talk to me.

I hate good-byes and I don't want to lose him but the only time we talked was at work and then Masta wouldn't let us.  We went from hanging everyday 24/7 to only talking on Tues/Thurs at work and that was a maybe.  Those were the most happiest times for me was when we got to talk.

I've always wanted a Best friend like most people but it just never seemed to work for me.  But when he came along, it was perfect.  It was like I knew him all my life.  He understood, he didn't judge me but accepted me for me.  We were inseparable.  Everything that I thought a Best friend should be was right here.  I felt at times like he was my soul mate because of how close we were.  Then it all changed so fast.

I understand it was "his time" and I'm really trying not to hate.  It's nothing against him at all.  I know I say this but I love everything about him.  My emotions are everywhere right now.  I just don't want to feel like this anymore.

He's moved on and he's happy, why can't I do the same?  Why didn't he try?  Why didn't he love me how I loved him?  What's wrong with me?  I get into these moods because I feel like I lost the best thing that had happened to me.

I've always believed in God's word and always guarded my heart.  I don't know what happened and I don't really understand why it happened.  I think I know.  This whole situation makes me not want to ever give my heart to anyone.  If I had anything to do with it, I wouldn't.

I don't even want anyone else.  I just want him.  The love I have for him, I want for God.  I didn't know that I could love someone so much.  It amazes me so.

I hate good-byes he really was my Bestfriend. I told him everything, more than I usually share and I always feel prompted to share but I guess it will be just me and this blog.  It's sooooo hard and I'm learning to adjust.  I will start writing and then erase it because he has a life now and doesn't have time for me and my non-sense.  That's how I feel anyways.

I have so many thoughts and feelings right now that I'm going to stop because I probably shouldn't write them.  I don't want any regrets.

I hope tomorrow and this weekend will be better and I get some peace about everything before I start my new job on Monday.

Day 10: Thankful for Words

"The power of life and death is in our tongues..." Prov 18:21

We can encourage people or we can tear people apart with our words.  I don't think we really realize how much power we have.  How important our words mean to people.

I guess specifically...God's word.

Creflo said in his sermon today that's it's important to stand and speak God's word not speaking positive words.  I'm not saying don't speak positive words but when we are standing and trying to get through a storm, God's word is what's going to get us through.  Being positive helps but God's word has power.

During my transition, it's been pretty tough as negative words are being said, my supervisor has been saying things that haven't helped because she want's me to stay and the kids have been making me cry.  However, the positive words that people have been saying have really helped and it's really speaking to my spirit.  I'm not normally a person who needs that but it's been hard and their encouragement is making me strong literally.  I'm so glad that I have faith right now and I've been standing on it.

A friend who doesn't speak to me as much texted me today and said, "Rejoice in the midst of your struggles."  I needed to hear that because the change of everything is really getting to me.  I'm going to get through this but I need to give God the praises through it all.

Life is not easy and the challenges we face are not always easy but we can make it with God and can as long as we rejoice.

The word in the house of God these past two Sunday's have been to "stand".

I'm telling you, with only 2 days of work left.  I want to say some choice words to some people but I'm standing on my character and values and not falling into my flesh.  I'm just so tired of the snakes and I'm so worried about my friend who still has to work with them.  All I can do is use my words and pray for him which I do, more than me at times.

Again, I'm thankful for words and the life that is spoken into my life, the prayers that have been prayed over me and God's word.

B.F.....f

This was during Labor Day weekend in Chicago.  I think we look perfect together.  This was taken two days before he asked his now girlfriend to be his girlfriend.  Crazy, I know and so hard for me to think about.

He stopped in today at work to use the computer.  He was getting ready to head out without saying hi.  My heart almost dropped.  Then he came back and said hi and gave me a hug.  He smelled so good.  He puts a smile on my face every time I see him.  I can't stop smiling when I'm around him.

So I told him that I would really like to see him on Tuesday as it's my last day.  Sad that I have to say that to my best friend but I don't think that I will see him again.  Of course not by my wanting.  He says, this will be the last time I see you...well consistently.  I was thinking to myself, no you had it right the first time.  He says, you probably end of moving and you tell me that you are in North Carolina and you have three kids and they have kids and their kids have kids and....Oh God is calling me I gotta go.  He makes me laugh but he's right.  I was like you will probably see it on facebook. It hurts to think that he's thinking of life without me in it.  When I always think about life with him in it.  Guess, that's where I need to change my thinking which hurts to do so.

He was taking a selfie and I did what I do best "photo bomb".  I love photo bombing his pics.  I'm sure he probably got tired of me always doing that but I guess he doesn't have to worry about it now. Tear, tear!!!  He is so adorbz!!!

"Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart..."

Day Three: Thankful for Jesus

I woke up this morning so excited to get to church to tell my testimony.  I laid in bed and went over and over in my head how I was going to say it.  Of course it did not come out like how I planned but grateful that I can give honor to God.

This song has gotten me through over the past month along with two others that I'm sure I will share later.  Listen to this song and meditate on the words.  It's an awesome song.  Thank you Jesus!

Without Him living in me, I know I wouldn't get through this life.  I'm grateful for the strength that he has given me and that I'm able to pull from that to get through those tough times.  When I fully grasp the mightiness of Him inside me, I know I will be unstoppable.

Cheating Myself

"The One I Gave My Heart To"  Aaliyah

How Could The One I Gave My Heart To, Break My Heart So Bad?
How Could The One Who Made Me Happy, Make Me Feel So Sad?How Could The One I Shared My Dreams With, Take My Dreams From me?
How Could The Love That Brought Such Pleasure, Bring Such Misery?

How Could The One I Gave My World To, Throw My World Away?

Wont Somebody Tell Me? So I Can Understand.

 

As I left tonight, this is the first song that came to my heart.  I kept singing the first two lines over and over for about 4 miles on the way home and then youtubed the video.

Answer: Because he's not mine

 

 

I know he kept me there so I could meet her but I didn't want to meet her.  I've been dreading this day and it came.  It was so awkward, watching them flirt with each other.  It made my heart hurt and made my stomache sick.  I wanted to leave SOOOO bad.  I wanted him to introduce me real quick and then I could say nice to meet you but I'm heading out.  Oh no, they were so indulged in each other and touchy feely for about 10 mins before she introduced herself.  I wanted to say so bad to them excuse me my name is and I'm heading out the door but I was trying not to be rude.

 

I'm proud of myself because I wanted to just cry so hard but as this song was going through my head, I kept telling myself, it will be okay and then I was so upset that he still has my heart and wondering when I would not have feelings for him.  Then something I heard on Vam Di tonight was that the love will go away once you fall in love again with someone else.  Well, so freaking hopeless.  I don't normally fall in love, like or attraction with anyone, I don't know how it happened with him.  

 

Those who are attracted to me are old enough to be my daddy or my grandpa (singing, I'm not your daddy I'm your grandpa...yep, you sure are).  Then I fall for someone who is old enough to be my son.  Just HOPELESS!!

 

The bad thing about this is that I needed him in my life at the point he showed up.  So many good things have come out of our relationship and I think good things continue to come out of our friendship.  This is just a hurdle that I need to get over because clearly he is completely fine and loses no sleep or sheds a tear. 

 

I hear people telling me that his time in my life has come to an end and to be fair to me as well as him, I need to walk away.  I cannot heal if I continue to succumb myself to his life.  I had gotten the same word and that is why I want to leave here because I think it would be easier to be out of his life if I didn't live here.  I love him and how can I stop loving him if I continue to fall for him each time we talk.  But yet, I need him (that's what I believe anyways).

 

I had an epiphany on the way home.  I continue to run, thinking I'm running away from my problems when I'm really not going anywhere.

 

 

Truth is...my heart hurts when he talks about her on fb or in general, he comments on her posts, when she comments on his, when they tag each other, or just anything involving her makes me cry because it hurts.  Jealousy is one of the deadly sins and I pray that God forgives me for taking on that trait.  I hate feeling this way, I don't know her but it's just the fact that she has his heart and I wish it was me but then again I don't. 

 

I continue to give him what I would give my spouse.  However, he doesn't respond the way I expect because he is NOT the one and he will not understand the love behind my actions.  No fault to him but he's not going to because I'm not suppose to do it for him.  I'm only cheating me.

 

I just pray for the day that the heartaches will stop and I will look at him as a friend only.

 

It Wasn't Me

I sometimes have unrealistic views about life.  Would it be so bad to have neighbors like Flanders or just to be "friendly".  I think it would be fun to do block parties, progress dinner, have game nights, just hang out and talk for hours with your neighbors. 

Well not here.

On Thursday, I got home around 10p.  Around 10:30ish, my landlord calls and says that he has a complaint against me for being loud.  I thought he was serious and got nerveous because I had just gotten home.  Now I noticed my neighbors music was pretty loud. When he told me he was just playing, he informed me that he got a complaint that my neighbors were being loud.  I told him it was true.  He said, he was also informed that it had been going on for a few weeks is that true.  I said yes.  He asked why I hadn't said anything.  I told him that I just tolerate it and didn't want to be one of "those" tenants who's unhappy with everyone and calls and complains.  He said he understood but when there is a problem and I'm unhappy, he would like to know.  He said if he would have known when it first started he could of addressed it then.

The landlord said that he doesn't have a working number for my neighbor and he didn't want to come down tonight so just go knock on the door or bang on the wall.

Since the time I had been home, the neighbor in the house next door,  continue to text me as she was unhappy, frustrated, and tired.  She continue to complain about the music of our neighbor.  Her texts were becoming so irritating that it gave me a head ache.  So now, I have a headache and I started getting irritated with the music.

The one neighbor called the police.  They come out and do what they need to do which nothing.  They banged on the door but couldn't' get in.  They walked around and still nothing and then he left.

Beha was still upset that nothing was done.  She called the police again and they said since they couldn't make contact with someone, they couldn't do anything.  I went up to my room and the music was extremely loud.  So I put some clothes on and went and rung, rung, and rung the doorbell.  Nothing.  So I went back upstairs and went to sleep.  Beha continue to text and was very irritated.  Well coming to find out later, Beha knocked and banged too and nothing.

Friday, when I got home from work at 5p.  Club 6627 was jumpin.  Now the landlord said he understood for the weekend but during the week it's unacceptable but me, it's unacceptable even during the weekends as they could go until 2a sometimes. 

Well the next thing you know, I hear a knock at the door.  It's my landlord.  He goes to talk to my neighbor...leaves her house and comes straight to my house.  REALLY!?

He says Thursday and Friday, if you want me to give her a letter to get out, I will.  Just let me know, it's up to you.  He stated that he would rather keep his tenants then to lose them because of someone else.  Why do I have to make that decision.

After he leaves my house, the club owner comes over.  I was so scared.  She then proceeded to apologize and said she feel asleep and didn't realize her music was that loud.  She said that he said it's been a problem for a while and she asked me if that was true.  I told her yes but I just tolerated it.  I told her that the landlord called me, I didn't call him.  She asked why I hadn't said anything and I told her these walls are pretty thin and that's just apart of living in a townhome but if it were to get to bad, I would let her know or go and knock like I did the night before.  She also said that the police came.  I said yes, I seen them outside but I didn't call.  She seemed embarrassed and apologetic.

She asked if her music was loud now and I invited her in to listen and she couldn't believe how well I could hear her music.  She just kept apologizing.  She went and fixed it and later that night came over to see how it was and it truthfully was lower but I could still hear it.  But I told her it was fine.

Life in a townhome!!