Ode to the Bestie

 I love you

I love your smile

I love your eyes

I love your height

I love your lips

I love your hands

I love your body

I love your hugs

I love your laughs

 

I love how you have a heart of gold

I love how you love your family

I love how you make everyone around you feel special

I love how you make me feel special

I love how you see the beauty in things

I love your passion

I love how you are so talented in so many areas

I love that look you give that makes me so giddy for you

I love how being around you makes me feel everything is going to be alright

I love that you accept me for me

I love how you make me laugh

I love that you "play" and let me bother you when I'm sure you don't want to be bothered

 

You are the first person that I've had such strong feelings for

You are the first person that I've told people that "I love him"

You are the first person that no matter my feelings, I always want to be with you

You make me happy

You give me butterflies

You are my bestfriend

You are the first thing I think about in the morning

You are the last person I think about before I go to bed

You are the music in my soul

You are the smile in my heart

I sometimes wish you were the one that will be in my life forever

I wish I had your heart the same as you have mine (darn sire bond)

I wish it were your hands that I could hold at the movies, walking down the street or when I want

I wish it were your lips I could kiss every moment of the day

I wish you were the one I could come home to each day

I wish it was your arms that I can find rest in

I wish you were the one I could cuddle up to and put my cold feet under

I wish I could fall asleep in your arms and wake up to your smile every morning

 

Thank you for being my friend

Thank you for showing me that I can be pretty

Thank you for listening to me talk and vent

Thank you for seeing the beauty inside of me

Thank you for letting me invade your space

Thank you for your patience

Thank you for being my roadie, even though you are leary about my driving

Thank you for looking past my flaws

Thank you for not judging me

Thank you for showing me that I can love someone

Thank you for your truthfulness

Thank you for being my light in a dark place

Thank you for helping me think outside my own thoughts

Thank you for giving me hope when all else seems hopeless

Thank you for being you

 

 

The realization of knowing that you are not "The one" hurts my heart daily

How do I get my heart back, how do I love you like a friend and not more

Here is my confession, I say you are my bestfriend but secretly want you as more

I've been untrue to you and myself just so I won't lose the connection

You have changed my life

You have changed my world

I'm a better person because you have entered my life

 

 

 Happy Birthday Buddy

You have reached a milestone

You left a boy and returning a man, Viva Las Vegas!!

I love you more than you will probably ever realize!!!

 

            

 

 

This song reminds me of you...You truly are so beautiful!

 

Outcast

Do you ever feel like this?

It's not "normal" to tell the peeps you are related to and live 6 miles down the road from, see you next month (at the next ceremony).  I'm yelling, THAT'S NOT CUTE!!  I thank the Lord for giving me that extra strength to handle people in my life and to ultimately make the best of the situation (even though I have a hissy fit beforehand).

I really miss being in close proximity to my Mom and Sister.  Also, my family that lived here and moved to ATL, I miss them soooo much.   I struggle listening to people who have their immediate family here and they don't see them or they complain to me about petty things (I think) such as:

1. My kids always want me to cook dinner for them. I'm tired of always cooking.  They're grown and should be cooking for me.

    I can't wrap my mind around for holidays that you eat alone because there was a argument about who was going to cook, buy the food or where to eat.  I eat alone on holidays because I have no one here and my money is funny and distance prohibits the visits.  However, these last few years I have driven over 10-17 hrs just to have holidays with my family (where I help buy food and help cook...Come on family) and some people can't drive 10 mins.  That ain't right (In my Chris Rock National Security voice)

    Family is important to me and when I have my own family, I want that bond that I invision for my family now. My mother enjoys cooking dinner for my sister and I or anyone for that matter.  We talked about how if she was closer, we could do the Sunday dinner at her house.  She misses those times too.

2. My kid will only come over when I ask to take out the trash or help around the house.

3. I put a sign on my door for my family because they don't know when to go home when they come and visit so I don't open the door.

    Well you would hate me as a family member because I know I don't.  It's so sad because I do this with my friends.  I just enjoy being around them so much that I don't want to leave. That's probably why I'm a nerd.

    I appeciate my friends so much.  I try not to bother them too much because many of them have their own life and families.  However, if it wasn't for them, I don't know how I would survive and still be sane.  God has definitely been my provider and I'm so grateful for the people he has put in my path.  I just hope that I can be as much of a blessing to them as they have been to me.

    I have to apologize to my friends for being so overly.  I really don't mean to be such a bother at times, it's just that you are my family and lifeline.

This is my theme song for MY family when it happens.  I understand that struggles are going to happen but we are family...blood...We should and must be there for one another, forgive each other and make the best of every situation.

Dancing with Angels

I've been sitting here tonight in shock.  My Pastor's dad passed away Tuesday, a young lady at my church passed from a Seizure on a mission trip, and now my cousin Julius Jovon Floyd II aka JuJu aka Michael's twin. 

Lord, in these situations we want to ask "WHY" but I seem to want to say Thank you for the time our family had with him.  Although I wasn't close but we are family and I love each and every one of them.  They have my heart more than they know.

As I struggle with the grieving process, I can only do what I know to do and that's Pray and Praise.  I thank you Lord that you are a Great Big God who knows and sees all.  You are with us during happy times and sad times.  Thank you for being a God who gives life.  I know that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy and although he is doing what he is called to do, I thank you that you are waiting with your arms open for our loved ones.  Thank you for welcoming JuJu with open arms. 

I pray for Ang, Julius, and Aunt Kathy right now as well as family and friends.  Lord only you can give peace that passes all understanding.  I believe that your grace and mercy is more than enough and as my family is grieving, I pray that you wrap your loving arms around each and every one of them.  Comfort Lord like only you can.  Let them know that you are there. 

    

I rebuke satan's plans of negative thoughts or plans that try to come up against them.  Hear our hearts Lord, hear their cries Oh God. 

Lord I thank you for Angela.  You called her for this time and purpose and Lord I seen her love and strength for her son and family.  Increase her strength now more than ever to move forward.  Lord help her to cherish the memories of her son and may they be pleasing.  Surround her with Godly people that will lift her up in those times that she needs it and that will listen or give her advice.  Thank you for the calling on Ang's life.  Continue to order her steps.

I lift up Jaida and Journey to you Lord.  Send your angels to encourage them, not only during this time but everytime they think of their brother.  Give them understanding and Joy that only you can give. 

Lord, we thank you for hearing our prayers, cries, and hearts. In Jesus Name, Amen.

I will end with a memory that I still think about of JuJu.  We went to go visit Ang at the house and of course Ju just had on his underwear but we ended up playing the Michael Jackson Wii game and he was an allstar.  We just laughed as he danced and moved. 

Ang, you have a calling on your life and this is only the beginning.  Use this Michael song to encourage you.  Michael also sung, you are not alone and you are not.  You have started this journey for Ju and now for others to become aware.  Let the healing process begin...I Love You!

I Love You Guys!

Time Flies

Just 18yrs ago, I was holding her in my arms and changing her diapers.  Now she is a young lady who is going off to college in the fall.

My little cousin graduated with honors from high school last weekend in Atlanta.  I went down for the week to for my vacay help out.   

The moved to Atlanta a year ago but before they were in the same city.  I miss them so much.  Some of you may or may not remember but I started blogging about them so other family members could see my little cousins them and get a good laugh because they were hilarious.  After they moved, I started this blog.

As soon as I stepped off the plan in Hotlanta, I felt like I was melting.  It was super hot.  Hince the name.  I was so happy to be back around them.  It was like nothing had ever changed.  I love them all so much.

I went down with my hair a hot mess.  Weaves and ladies going natural is real big in Atlanta.  My aunt had no idea on where to go so the next day, I took the car and traveled the roads of Atlanta and found a place and made an appt.  There literally was a hair place on every corner. 

I took pictures of the kids last day. 





           

Last day as a High Schooler

Last day as a 7th grader



Doesn't she look super little to be a senior and graduating?  Then J, he was struggling on his last day of school.  He couldn't find his other show.  He looked for 30 mins.  I finally found it down at the end of the stairway.  It was so funny.

After the first day I was there, I ended up not being able to walk.  My heel was hurting so bad that it prohibited me from walking for 3 days.  My fam said it could have been the shoes I was wearing and no support.  It was the first day I wore flip flops for the season.  But I normally wear flats so who knows.  I do know that it was awful.  I wanted to cry because there was so much I wanted to do but couldn't. 

My Mom, Pookie and I went to go get mani/pedi's.  Pookie never had either so it was awesome to be with her for her first time.  However, the place we went did an awful job.  I normally don't complain but my Mom and Pookie's names were bad.  My mom had to get her whole hand redone. 

We went to the hair store as my mom wants to go natural and wanted to get weave in her head and get it done.  I bought my first wig ever.  I was in love when I saw it.  Now my mom on the other hand didn't take kindly too it.  I can't wait until I get to wear it.  The  lady that was helping me was like girl this goes good with your eyes.  Now it's not too often that I can see what other people see in the color of my eyes.  Depending on what I'm wearing, it highlights my eyes and then I see what other people see and get so tickled.  I also liked the second one too but just couldn't break myself to pay this much for these wigs.  Only in ATL for a couple of days and got sucked into the "Unbeweavable" hype.

The day before graduation, we just hung out and had laughs.  Pookie went and tried on her outfits from different events that we missed while she was in school and the shoes she wore.  Of course I was taking pictures and she was so stiff (like her cousin).  She they told her to move like Beyonce and it was stinkin' hilarious but she was too cute.  What she wanted for graduation was to get weave in her hair.  Now she already has beautiful long hair but that is what she wanted.  She was so funny and cute and she knew she was. 

 Graduation day was here!!  Pookies graduation was outside on the field on their football field.  Let me be the first to say that they need to rethink how they do their graduation.  First it was too hot.  People were passed out everywhere due to dehydration.  There were people on the ground, under trees and in the shade hooked up to IV's.  I seen at least 2 ambulances and one came in as I was just getting there.  Second, the graduating class was in the middle of the field and we were way in the stands, you couldn't see anyone and you felt so distant. And Third, there was no parking.  We had to park it felt like a mile away.

     

Pookie is such a great child.  She really didn't ask for anything for graduation and that's how she has always been.  She's real cautious of money and doesn't want to burden the family.  Not the norm for sure.  My mom, sister and I got her prepared for college with the personal care items, bedding and towels.  I special ordered (thirty-one) a small utility tote with monogrammed with her initials that she can use as a shower caddy.  I made her a book, video, ragged flip flops with her college colors, and with help from mom and roll of money coming out of a kleenex box (from pinterest).  That was the big hit and so much fun.  J wanted to take a picture of it since he thinks he's a gangsta.  Then he was better than anyone with making it rain money over Pookie.  We were all shocked.  I asked him how he learned how to do that and he said from watching videos and his dad isn't that good because he doesn't go to strip clubs.  I love him.





    Overall it was a great week and I surely did not want to leave.  Guess that's why I missed my first flight.  No it was really Airtans fault but I'm so thankful that my family came back to get me.  I barely made the second flight.  ATL's airport is no joke, just fyi.

Lord, I thank you for my little cousin.  I thank you for her life.  I bled your blood right now over her.  Order her steps Lord and allow her to be blessed in everything she puts her hands too.  Surround her with your angels and I pray Ps 91 over her as she goes to school.  I pray that no hurt, harm or danger would come to her.  Lord give her the knowledge she needs.  Keep her surrounded by positive, motivating and encouraging people.  Thank you for her life.  Amen.

Lovely Weekend

View from a dock off the Lake of the Ozarks!

This past weekend was the best weekend in a very long time.  It started Wednesday evening with family coming in from ATL.  It felt like old times, well except the part of them staying with ME in my micro apartment.  Next time they come and visit, I will have more space, yay! 

Visiting other family members and spending quality time is what I like most.  We don't need to go anywhere.  We went to Gates BBQ and watched movies.

I left Friday afternoon for a "Girls weekend at the lakehouse".  It was meant for me to go because this will be my only free weekend until I move in 2mths.  The lakehouse is located on Lake of the Ozarks.  Five ladies and one "CB" (um, craft boy [ another 'b' name] for better terms) scrapbooking on the lake.  You can't beat that.  A friend of a friend has a lakehouse and she and her husband (CB) extended an invitation for some of us ladies to come hang and scrapbook.  They were such great host for the weekend.  We went boat riding, had a bonfire, sang Christmas songs under the Christmas lights around the house, ate, and scrapbooked.  I wish my weekend could be like this every weekend.  Everyone needs a lakehouse to go to every weekend.

 

  

The Lakehouse





Wishlist #1: The Cricuit



Wishlist #2: Craft utility cart



My scrapbooking view

Good food





Great company



Thank you ladies for a great weekend and CB for the hospitality and "eye" for scrapbooking.  It was a winning weekend!